i've been needing to write this for a while now

and you thought you'd never see the return of that pointy-eared fraud
part one

it had been many years since they had last seen him
and all the creatures and humankind were curious
as to when they would ever see him again
or if they would at all, in fact


part two

the lot whom i just mentioned right there above
would sometimes gather in the spots
where he would often times like to appear
but there was never the slightest swirl in time
and no pointy-ears nor pointy shoes ever came
not even the slightest crumb of cookie
would dance out of a puff of mysterious smoke


part three

but those people (yes, still the ones from above)
would never give up
they were quite the hopeful people, really
especially the little kittens and sometimes the dogs too
but always definitely the new residents:
those goddamn beautiful rats!
they came to late and never got to meet
that amazing elfen king
so now they pray for the day of his triumphant return
and sometimes they even make offerings
of bits of chocolate and even hammers sometimes


part four

then it was one fine sunny sunday evening
when all went black and the creatures and folk got quite the stir
so they looked to the sky
and saw the most curious spectable they ever had seen:
a strange grey squirrel - nay, i mean swirl


part five

they stared and pointed in near-practice unison
and then all at once they shouted
for a creature descended the sky with a great clash
and they all knew immediately who it was


part six

they greated him kindly:
pushed and shoved and kicked and screamed
so much, they almost called the police
but the creature put his hand in the air
and it all came to a sudden halt


part seven

"ah-hah! 'tis i, your beloved false norton" proclaimed the elf
"and i see you've all been anxiously awaiting
my seemingly triumphant return.
so as you can see, i have returned,
but i can't help but wonder: what is the matter?

you all missed me so much
and you all yearned for my return (please pardon the rhyme),
but none of you ever sought for my presence
even though i've already told you how.

you could have come so quickly,
it would have only taken a brief instance
but nay - you never once closed your eyes
and tried to say goodbye to this wretched sylvan area.

you could have left this behind
and said hello to a new home:
your safe haven
but you refused to do such an apparent monstrosity.

i guess you've no desire
to live in a land where elfs and squirrels
and sometimes even antelopes and beatniks too
will roam free and without persecution.

i've already told you numerous times
what path to take
and i've already instructed you
on how to take it
but it's your job to follow-through
so now maybe this time you'll change your mind
and do that which is right.

but for now i must say goodbye
and bid you a fond farewell
for i cannot stand to be here any longer
and must return home to my ancient land
where i hope you see you one day."